So, today marks the first official day of summer break. I'm teaching summer school, and the work for that starts on Thursday, but for now, it's 3 work-week days of officially nothing to do. Which is hilarious, because a week ago, I was on my way to work, and had the music on my phone on shuffle. No big deal, right? Except then my phone started to play this:
Yeah. That's right. It was the last week of May, and I still had Christmas music on my phone. My first thought was, "Of course I have Christmas music on my phone, BECAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO TIME FOR ANYTHING. OH MY GOSH. THERE ARE SERIOUSLY FIVE THOUSAND THINGS THAT HAVE TO BE DONE THE VERY SECOND I GET TO WORK." Which is adorable. But also, felt very true at the time. Things got done (or they didn't), and mostly I find it hilarious that I took that screen cap tonight, and there are now, and were then, 42 Christmas songs on my phone.
My second thought was, "Yes. This is a blog topic. How busy I am. THERE WILL NEVER BE TIME EVER AGAIN. I AM THE BUSIEST PERSON WHO'S EVER LIVED." (lol.)
And then? After a really restful weekend, today was super chill and I plan on the next two days following suit, I thought of my freak out over Christmas music that wasn't really about Christmas music. I thought about the fact that the nature of my job, combined with my personality, means that I am going full speed seemingly all the time, and then when a break in the school year comes--everything seems to come to a full stop.
I would like to add here that I'm using a lot of absolutes quite liberally. Excuse my repetitive "always'" and "nevers." I don't mean it, really. When I get going, you'd never know it, but:
Things aren't always "always."
I'm looking forward to having something to do daily, some routine returning to the daily line-up with summer school and all the things going on throughout the summer months, but I am really wanting to enjoy the break, the breathing time.
My friends and I talked a few weeks ago about the struggle in really resting--taking time once a week to reflect, not over-plan or work, and just relax. I find this super difficult to put into practice. Not because I consider myself some kind of work-saint where it just kills me to have any down time--that's definitely not the case. But because there is typically so much to be done on any given week, I find myself working between two extremes: full speed ahead, and total shut down. It's not ideal. It leaves very little room to appreciate the things that are happening while they happen, or allow for much deviation from the routine.
I don't have a balance all worked out. Really, not at all. But, I want that to be a goal that I work toward in this time of in-between-craziness. I love being busy, and there are a ton of ways I keep myself busy with things that are important to me--both work related and not, but I don't think it's in my own best interest to spend my time doing a ton of things, without giving myself time to enjoy doing them, to reflect on them, and to rest. Figuring out that balance is the dream, right?
So, it's a baby step, but in this effort to live between extremes, my first step is to finally remove the Christmas music from my phone.
It's kind of a cop out, because let's be real. It'll be back like, mid- to end of October. Whatever. I feel your judgement, No Christmas Till After Thanskgiving-ers. And I need you to know: I do what I want.
But more seriously? I want to spend this less hectic time really thinking about how to better operate my life when it's significantly more intense.
And also to do laundry.